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A Doll Baby Step in the Right Direction

A baby step in the right direction is still a step, right? Today I donated 2 bags to AVDA. One contained Dylan's cherished tin toy collection and the other had a few of Eliza's dolls that I have been holding onto for...well, she's about to turn 21. I guess I was waiting for the just the right child to give them to when I realized that the perfect little person is probably someone I don't even know. As I pulled up to the AVDA drop off, I was tempted to pull the dolly out for my friend Megan's daughter, but I know she has a few babies of her own. My donation could make it possible that these toys wind up getting into the hands of a child who may never have had his or her own windup airplane or doll baby. Isn't that a magical idea? Letting go of holding on almost requires a 12 step recovery program for me. It's become a bit of an addiction. The first step in shedding the layers of excess is to get real with what is needed and what is still hanging around out of avoidance.. Each toy has sweet memories attached to it. They weren't bothering anyone packed away in those boxes, but who were they helping? Taking them actually felt good. Somewhere between home and AVDA, I realized it's mostly about having faith that these items I loved so dearly will land where they are most needed and bring some comfort to a little soul that is struggling. Every day I will bring 2 bags of "stuff". I can live with that. I am working my way through our house, room by room and donating whatever we aren't fully utilizing. Why shouldn't someone else benefit from what's sitting around here? A little at a time makes this process sting less until I can feel neutral about letting go of stuff. Because that's really all it is anymore...stuff. For whatever reason, I have taken comfort in holding onto things I no longer need. It may come from a time in my life when abundance wasn't a reality and so at some level that little person inside feels good to "have" stuff to hold onto. What's interesting is that my son Dylan, feels choked by excess. He is a minimalist in every sense of the word and carries no emotional connection to things he isn't using. He is utilitarian and in this regard, I am his student. As I settle back into life P.B. (post Bali), I have designated the change of seasons from summer to fall (purely in theory as it's 85 degrees still!) as a time to make space. The next item on my checklist is to donate their bedroom furniture to Sweet Dream Makers so children in our own community who don't have a bed to sleep in or furniture in their rooms will feel they are deserving of these basics, that most of our children likely take for granted. Every child deserves these comforts and every family knows,"It takes a village". And then I will recreate rooms that make sense for a family with an almost 21 year old and a 24 year old, gulp. We all have our shtick. I know mine only too well and quite frankly, I'm tired of it. I think at 54, I'm finally outgrowing this old habit and it feels just right.

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